GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
- You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
- Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
- Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
- Wrinkles don't hurt.
- Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
- Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
- Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
- Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
- Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
- Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
- When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
- You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
- It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
- Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
- Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
- You believe in Santa Claus.
- You don't believe in Santa Claus.
- You are Santa Claus.
- You look like Santa Claus.
- At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants.
- At age 12 success is . having friends.
- At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
- At age 35 success is . having money.
- At age 50 success is . . . having money.
- At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
- At age 75 success is having friends.
- At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short
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Posted on: 2006-05-12
Last Modified on: 2007-07-06
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