C a t e g o r i e s

Great Truths      

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

  • No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  • When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  • If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  • Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  • You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
  • Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  • Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  • You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  • Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  • The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

  • Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
  • Wrinkles don't hurt.
  • Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
  • Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
  • Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
  • Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

  • Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
  • Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
  • When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
  • You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
  • It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
  • Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

  • At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants.
  • At age 12 success is . having friends.
  • At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
  • At age 35 success is . having money.
  • At age 50 success is . . . having money.
  • At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
  • At age 75 success is having friends.
  • At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short


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Posted on: 2006-05-12
Last Modified on: 2007-07-06
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